


Sunshine

by awhitefairytale



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 03:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awhitefairytale/pseuds/awhitefairytale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Regina loses Emma, her true love, and Henry comes to her side. Angsty. Don't kill me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine

Because of all the things she could've chosen to keep, the terrible red leather jacket had to be the thing she clung on to. Snow had fought her for it to the point Regina had been moments away from blacking pale skin around the brunette's eye. Henry's arms clinging around her midsection, tugging her away, was the only thing that kept her from doing it.

David was the one who made Snow give Regina the jacket and for that Regina would be forever grateful. It was Emma's token; the one thing that if seen in a crowd, you'd know it was the blonde savior. It was what Emma had been wearing the first time she'd kissed Regina and what she'd given to her to try to keep her warm on their third date. It was the jacket that meant the world to her.

She sat on her bedroom floor, clinging to the thing. She hugged it tight in her arms and buried her nose in it, breathing in the aroma that was Emma. It may not have actually smelled like these things but when she breathed in, she swore she smelled hot cocoa and lavender, spring rain and a slight tinge of apples. It screamed Emma at her and all she wanted was to revel in its gloriousness.

Regina had loved the blonde with every particle of her being, every fraction of her heart. She'd loved Daniel of course but Emma? If there was an emotion that meant love magnified by a trillion, the word might begin to explain how she had felt about the blonde woman.

Tears marred her face when she wrapped the red leather around her shoulders, curling into a ball on the carpet. Emma's name rang in her mind, over and over again. It was a soft whisper but Regina hoped that if she said it enough times, the blonde might appear before her.

A drunk driver. A stupid, fucking drunk driver was the reason her true love wasn't lying in bed next to her at night or sitting next to her in the booth at Granny's; kissing her neck with a sigh or eating everything in the fridge with their teenage son. Emma hadn't gone out in some glorious way like slaying a dragon or fighting in a war. No, Emma had been taken from them because the driver couldn't stay on his side of the road.

She was so angry. Regina wasn't sure she'd even felt this angry in all the years as Evil Queen. The anger was a huge ball in the pit of her stomach and while she wanted to go around, destroying anything in her path, all she could do was sit and cry, begging to whatever higher power that be to bring back Emma. Beautiful, kind, strong Emma. Her Emma.

Her sobs got louder, her vision blurrier. She wasn't sure she could curl into herself anymore. She wanted to melt into the floor and cease to exist.

She didn't hear Henry enter her room or hear him call out to her. She didn't notice him kneel down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, shaking it.

It wasn't until he laid down next to her, his head on the carpet next to hers, that she noticed him. She didn't want to look weak in front of him; she'd always made sure he knew she was strong. But the moment Emma's flame had ceased to exist in the world, every wall she'd ever built, every bit of strength she'd ever acquired, left her.

Henry didn't say anything, just laid next to her. She tried to stop her crying but couldn't, looking into his eyes that looked so much like Emma's, a new wave of tears flooded brown orbs.

"I'm… I'm sorry… sorry Henry." The words were said through gasps of air.

Henry shook his head, wrapping his long arms around his mother and pulling her small body to him. He was bigger than her now, a few inches taller, and he would guess they looked silly lying there on the floor but he really didn't care.

She curled into him and let him hold her, her sobs growing quieter. Her body shook and he felt tears come to his own eyes. He'd known they'd loved each other, but hadn't guessed it was nearly this much. They'd only been dating just under a year and he'd only heard them say the three little words a couple of times.

His mother's reaction to his other mother's death was definitely not something he expected.

Twenty minutes later when Regina felt all her tears were gone, at least for the moment anyway, she took in a deep breath and pulled back to look into Henry's eyes. She noticed he had been crying himself and instantly felt her heart break a little more. Her hand went to his cheek and she wiped away a tear with her thumb.

"I'm really sorry Henry. I'm sorry you… you lost your mom. I'm sorry you had to see me break down like this."

He sniffled and closed his eyes briefly before looking back into brown eyes.

"Don't apologize mom. We've all… had our breakdowns in the past week."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you through yours."

"Mom, stop. Really. I… no one was there for mine. I still," he grimaced, trying to choose his next words carefully. "I don't really think I've had mine yet. I'm having a really hard time believing she's actually gone Mom. And at the same time, I'm registering she's gone and I know I miss her. It's all so complicated."

"Feeling normally is."

A silence dragged on for a while and Regina unconsciously began to rub circles on Henry's back.

"Is that why you did it Mom?"

"Did what Henry?"

"Became the Evil Queen? Because feeling was so hard and complicated?"

Regina hadn't really ever thought on what he was asking her. She'd always told herself she'd become the evil queen because of Daniel's death and her need to exact revenge on Snow White. But when she thought about it, what Henry was saying made sense.

"Because right now, all these emotions I'm feeling? I just come out feeling like I'm angry and that I'd love to do something like punch a wall or maybe even punch the ass that couldn't stay in his own lane. I'm sad and broken but I'm most definitely angry. You… you had to have been angry because of everything you were feeling."

To be honest, Regina didn't know what to say.

"I was in a very dark place Henry."

"You… you won't go back there will you?" Henry hesitated, hoping not to have offended her. But ever since walking into that room and seeing how his mother reacted, he started to worry that things may get bad again.

Regina almost felt like that was a slap to the face but then she noticed the genuine fear in her son's eyes. She wondered if that was fear for her or fear for himself.

"Henry," She sighed, pulling him close to her again. "Your mother, she was sunshine to me." She could feel tears beginning to form but tried to hold everything in. "She made everything so much brighter and better. She showed me that being a good person could be a wonderful thing. And definitely the right thing. Because of your mother Henry, I don't think I could go back to being the person I was. I may feel extreme sadness, loneliness, and definitely anger. But I've found better ways to channel that."

He pressed his head to her shoulder and felt his own tears falling again. He felt the buildup of something bigger and wondered if this may be the time he had his own breakdown. He was glad it was going to happen with the person who loved him most in the world.

Regina felt Henry's fingers clutch her shirt and pulled him as close as she could. She told herself she wouldn't cry because this was Henry's time and crying herself would be selfish.

But she couldn't help that. The tears began to fall harder and Henry's sobs grew louder.

"I miss her mom," He'd say between sobs.

"I know sweetie. I miss her too."

And late into the evening they laid on the floor like that; crying, talking about Emma, and talking about how to channel their anger. They occasional told a funny story about a time with the blonde but would soon break into tears realizing there would be no more funny stories.

It was ten in the evening when Henry felt his stomach growl and Regina definitely heard the noise. Slowly, she pulled herself up and slipped the jacket on, standing and reaching to help Henry up.

As he watched his mother, he noticed the chain around her neck slip from her shirt. Normally it held the ring he knew Daniel had given her; but now there was also a silver engagement ring with a pretty decent sized diamond on it.

And that's when Henry knew exactly how much his mothers had loved each other.

 


End file.
